Remember....We're at the point where Ella has decided to scream and cry and call out"MOMMY"..... for bedtime. She can get so worked up I have to really stay close because she'll get so upset she'll puke. I just wait till she gets tired enough to either fall asleep or tired enough that I can go back in and she'll fall asleep on me. How do I make bedtime easier and not so crazy. She knows how to push my buttons and knows what to do to get" Mommy's" attention. Any ideas ????
6 comments:
That is a hard one, because you love them so much and hate to see them upset right. Some people try cry out method and says it works, but she is so old now, you might just create anxiety. And you probably have a good routine too now..? The suggestions I got from Center for Ability when I attended a Positive Behavour Course worked quite well fro Mattias for many things. I use this every day in the car on our way home from preschool, going to the hair dresser or anything new or exciting etc to prepare him. First talk through the routine a couple of times while you're still in the living room. Example "now it's soon bedtime, then we are going to put your PJ's on, brush your teeth, read 2 books and go to bed". Make sure to go through every step, even the small ones, like turning the light off etc. repeat it several times, while she is on your lap, feeling safe, or at least listening somehow, and if she can talk, she can repeat it or say "yes" to understanding. Then go through the routine with no exceptions or stops. You can also talk about pictures she likes during the day and hang them by her bed. Then when you go to bed talk about them again and tell her to dream about them. Maybe a picture of you and her together will be great. A night light bulb in her outlet can help her see and be calming. Mattias has that. He also has a little music box on his bed that we start once we leave the room. It's the same routine every night. I do the same with Marcus, and he is the same age as Ella right. Luckily he is fine going to bed. Good luck Jolene!
Love, Hege
I agree with Hege routine and telling them ahead of time what we'll be doing. It's the same every night. We find its better when one parent does the work from bathtime to bedtime. One parent pays a short visit to say goodnight and then leaves so the parent manipulation can't be used. Through all the crying I like to talk to her positively and reminder her of all the great things we have done and things she did special that day. I admit sometimes it's so easy to mumble something frustrating and walk away. I'm trying much more to stay focused when she breaks down crying over something to re-focus her thoughts with positive ideas and when she's ready she usually lays a big hug on me, tells me she loves me, but it could even be 30-45 mins some nights. Hege is right confirming they know what you repeated back is important I think.
Good advice...i am with them.
I also don't think that rocking her to sleep is going to help at all....because then you can never leave them alone!!!!!
Be strong.......you can do it!!!
your guys are the best, I really needed a new thing to try. It was very helpful and I will try them.
Joxo
I do pretty much what Hege does. It works well. But seriously, it took us YEARS to be able to get it working. Sometimes we have troubles but on most days the routine works. Makes kids feel safe to have routine. And, give you, the parents some time on your own together! Much needed after a very long day!
Good luck to you!
oh jo, I have so been there, Cole didn't go to sleep or sleep through the night until two! If I have to go through that again with this one I will die. The routine is the best advice ever it worked for us. I find Cole LOVES having structure and having the same routine day in day out, makes bedtime so much safer and less scary for them. The best thing you can do is to listen to your inner mom voice, it sounds silly but it will always tell you the right thing to do for your family! Best of luck.
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